How can we be Jesus’ friend? Part 1

“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” John 15:10

Several years ago, an English publication offered a prize for the best definition of a friend. Among the thousands of entries received were some of the following:

“One who understands our silence.”

“A volume of sympathy bound in cloth.”

“A watch which beats true for all time and never runs down.”

But the entry which won the prize said, “A friend – the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.” 1

Often times we speak or sing about what it means to have Jesus as our Friend. But in these verses (John 15:9-17), we are going to discover what it means to be Jesus’ friend. It may surprise us to learn that not all Christians are friends with Jesus. A person can be a child of God without being a friend of God. How can we be Jesus’ Friend?

The first way is to LIVE IN HIS LOVE (John 15:9-11). Jesus and His disciples had just left the Upper Room and were on their way to the Garden of Gethsemane (John 14:31). Jesus used the analogy of the vine and its branches to teach them the secrets of having a fruitful ministry (John 15:1-8). They were to abide in Him and remain in vital contact with Him by obeying His commandments to glorify God the Father through the bearing of much fruit. Jesus’ disciples could not bear fruit apart from Christ. They were totally dependent on Him.

Christ then said to His disciples, “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” (John 15:9). Love is the relationship that unites the disciples (and us) to Jesus as branches are united to a vine. Jesus refers to His love for them to motivate them. He first tells them that His love for them is like the Father’s love for Him (cf. John 3:35; 5:20). The Father gave His Son all authority to accomplish His purposes. He always sought the best for His Son.

Likewise, Jesus always sought the best for His disciples. He still does this with us. Jesus’ love for us has purpose. It is meant to benefit us, but it is not painless. For example, God the Father loved Jesus, but sent Him to suffer and die to benefit those who believed in Him. The Bible tells us, “For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake.” (Philippians 1:29). God’s love for us does not mean we will never have pain or difficulties. In fact, pain can be an expression of God’s love for us. Hebrews 12:6 says, “For whom the Lord loves He chastens.” God uses His painful discipline in our lives, so we may be “partakers of His holiness (Hebrews 12:10).

Next, Jesus commands them (and us), “Abide in My love. The word “abide” (menō) is a fellowship term and means “to remain, continue, make one’s home at.” We are to constantly make our home in Jesus’ love for us. Abiding is not easy, yet where we make our home is where we spend our time. We must make the effort to abide in the truth of Scripture that God loves us with “an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3). People may stop loving us and even reject us, but God will never stop loving us. No one and nothing can separate us from His love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39)! Because this is a command, it is possible for a believer not to abide in God’s love.

How do we abide in Jesus’ love? Is this something mystical? Not at all. It is very simple. ““If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.” (John 15:10). We abide in Jesus’ love by keeping His commandments. Loving Christ in this way is not an emotion. It is a choice of the will. An example of this love is Christ’s perfect obedience to His Father’s commands. Jesus had uninterrupted fellowship with His Father through obedience to His commands. As we receive and appreciate Jesus’ love for us, we will be more motivated to obey Him (cf. I John 4:19). This is not a system of rigid rules, it is a loving relationship with Jesus. Our love for Christ is a result of His love for us. We cannot give what we do not possess.

Before we can love Jesus in this way, we must first receive His love for us. The more you know God, the better you love Him and people. John says in I John 4:7-8, “7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” You cannot give what you do not have. “God is love.” If you have Him, you have love. If you do not have Him, you only think you have love because God not only cornered the market on love, He is the market on love!

Those who have this kind of love are “born of God and know God” (I John 4:7b). The phrase “born of God” refers to a Christian. Before we can ever produce this kind of love in our relationships, we must first be born of God. How? The Bible says you must simply believe in Jesus Christ. “Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God.” (I John 5:1).

In John 14:6, Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” Jesus makes it very clear that there is only one way to God and that is through Him. Our sin, the wrong things we have thought, said, and done – separate us from God (Romans 3:23; 6:23). This separation from God causes problems in every area of our lives – including our relationships. No amount of our good works can bring us back to God because we are still sinners.

But Jesus has provided the only way back to God by paying for all our sins when He died on the cross and rose from the dead (I Corinthians 15:3-6). The Lord now invites you to believe or trust in Him alone for eternal life. He said, “He who believes in Me has everlasting life.” (John 6:47). It doesn’t matter how badly you have messed things up, you can come to Christ just as you are.

Just as you trust a chair through no effort of your own to hold you up off the floor, so God now invites you to trust in Jesus Christ alone through no effort of your own to give you eternal life and complete forgiveness of sins (John 3:16; Acts 10:43; Colossians 2:13-14). The good things you have done will not save you. Only Jesus can save you from your sins. The moment you place your faith in Jesus alone for eternal life, you become God’s child (John 1:12) and God comes to live inside of you (Romans 8:11; Galatians 2:20) and love you always. As you get to know Him and trust Him, He pours His love into your life through His Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5; Galatians 5:22a), so you can begin to love others.  You may be ready to receive God’s love right now. Simply believe in Jesus to give you everlasting life (John 6:47).

Once you have come close to God by trusting in Jesus alone as your Savior, the key is to stay close. Get to “know Him” (I John 4:7b) by spending time with Him. Staying close to God is not complicated. This image works for me: I picture my life as a bucket. I have to have my bucket filled. And God’s love is like a fountain. The more I refill that bucket, the more love I have to share with others. If you have been a Christian for a while, you can probably tell when your bucket is empty. You are easily irritated or angered. It is difficult to let go of past hurts and trust the person again, to expect the best of him or her. Perhaps you cannot stand being in the same room with the person who has hurt you in the past. All of these are indications that you need to be refilled.  

You say, “How do I do it?” Spend time with Jesus. Hang out with Him. Read what He has written in His love letter to you, the Bible. Talk to Him about what you are reading and feeling. Treat Him like a close friend, and you will become a close friend. And when you get closer to Jesus, you’ll discover that you are more able to love those who matter to you. Go to church so you can hang out with the people who hang out with God. Join a small group where you can hang out more intimately with a few of God’s friends.

Jesus spoke about remaining in vital contact with Himself and His love so that we could experience His joy. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:11). The Lord did not intend for His disciples’ lives to be burdensome and boring. He intends for us to know the same joy He knew when He was obedient to the will of God the Father. He wants our joy to “be full”or brought to completion.

Our greatest joy is walking in obedience to Jesus Christ. The joy of Christ is the joy that arises from the sense of a finished work. It is a creative joy, like the joy of an artist or carpenter when he or she finishes a project. When your masterpiece is finished, there is great joy over its completion. Discipleship is not meant to be some shallow, miserable experience of following rules. It is meant to be a life characterized by joy or gladness which arises out of a loving relationship with the Lord.

But if a believer is not abiding in Christ through obedience, especially as it relates to loving one another, there will be a lack of joy in his or her life. Disobedience to God reduces our joy and increases our sense of shame and guilt. You cannot rejoice while you are wallowing in shame.

Take time this week to hang out with Jesus and His friends. Your life will be more full of joy and someone else may also get a lift.

Prayer: Precious Lord and Savior, thank You for Your profound love for me. People may stop loving me, but You never have nor will! Let’s get together in the morning. I want to hear what You have to say to me. My love tank is running a little low right now, and it could use a refill. Thank You, Jesus. See You in the morning! In Your name I pray. Amen.

ENDNOTES:

1. Karol & Terry Ladd, The Power of a Positive Friend (West Monroe, LA: Howard Publishing Co., 2004), pp. 31-32.

2. A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and Other Early Christian Literature, compiled by Walter Bauer, trans. and adapted by William F. Arndt and F. Wilbur Gingrich, 2nd ed., rev. and augmented by F. Wilbur Gingrich and Frederick W. Danker (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1979), pp. 503-504.

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