“So He said to him, ‘What is your name?’ He said, ‘Jacob.’ ” Genesis 32:27
We are learning from Jacob’s interaction with the Angel of the Lord how God wants to change us from the inside out. Thus far we have discovered that we can change when…
– God uses the process of a crisis (Genesis 32:24).
– God uses the process of commitment (Genesis 32:26).
After an all-night wrestling match, the Angel of the Lord said to Jacob, “Let Me go, for the day breaks.” Jacob replied, “I will not let You go unless You bless me!” (Genesis 32:24). Before the Angel of the Lord would bless Jacob, “He said to him, ‘What is your name?’ He said, ‘Jacob.’ ” (Genesis 32:27). Why did the Angel of the Lord ask Jacob this question? Didn’t the Lord already know the answer? He asked this question to get Jacob to confess his character by stating his name, which had basically come to mean a “cheater” or “schemer.” Jacob remembered the heartache he had caused by scheming against his brother Esau, so when the angel asked, “What is your name?” He was asking, “What are you really like?” Jacob admitted, “I am a cheater and a schemer.” He was honest about his character flaws.
The third way for us to change for the better is when GOD USES THE PROCESS OF CONFESSION (Genesis 32:27). This is an important process when it comes to God changing us from the inside out, because we never change until we honestly face and admit our need to change. We need to come clean with God about our sins, faults, and weaknesses. God is not going to go to work on our problem until we admit that we have a problem.
There is a part of our brain that is designed to help us survive by storing the memories of experiences that created intense pain or fear. When we are wounded, the best defense is to create a wall – a form of protection to keep us from being hurt that same way again. These walls become “protective personalities.” These personalities usually represent the opposite of who we really are, because it is in our true identity that we can be most wounded. This “protective personality” shows itself as a part of you that everyone else can see or sense, but which remains out of your own awareness. This sometimes is referred to as a “blind spot.” 1
The protective personality is there to protect us from trusting, being vulnerable, and subsequently being betrayed and hurt by others. It pushes others away and communicates that you don’t have problems or need anyone, making it difficult or unsafe for them to tell you the truth. The thing you need the most (connection with God and others) is also the thing you fear the most. This “protective personality” is a means of not needing God and others, remaining invulnerable, avoiding risk and pain. Most of the time these personalities were formed when we were very young, as a protective mechanism. Their job is to keep us safe. They have worked successfully throughout our lives or they wouldn’t still be around! 2
Jacob’s protective personality was the Deceiver or Schemer. He tried to protect himself through manipulation and trickery. God’s wrestling match with Jacob had brought him to the end of himself. Jacob could no longer control the situation like he had done in the past. His protective mechanism was no longer working. It was time for Jacob to identify his protective personality and come clean with God. And he did.
What about us? What wall of protection have we created to protect ourselves from being hurt again? Here are some possibilities: Actor, Anger, The Bully, Confusion, Contempt, Control, Crazy, The Critic, Don’t Mess with Me, The Doormat, The Hard Worker, The Hero, Independence, Invisible, The Joker, Lazy, Loser, I’m OK, Mr./Ms. Right, Over-Achiever, Overwhelmed, The Perfectionist, The Pharisee, The Phony, The Pleaser, The Professor, The Protector, Rescuer, The Scapegoat, The Super Servant, The Victim. 3
What do you think your protective personality protects you from? Does it protect you from trusting and being hurt, betrayed, criticized, humiliated, rejected, shamed, taken advantage of, or looking stupid, etc.?
If we are still in denial about having a protective personality, God is not going to help us. It is when we admit we have created this personality to protect ourselves, that God can go to work. Yes, it is humbling to admit our wall of protection, but once we do, God gives us all the resources and all His power to enable us to change for the better. At that point, we can start becoming the person God has always wanted us to be.
Once we have identified our protective personality, it is important to go to the Lord and confess it to Him. Let’s go to Him right now in prayer.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I am a lot like Jacob. I have created _____________ (your protective personality’s name) to protect me from ________________ (name what it protects your from). But this has left me more isolated and lonely. The thing I fear the most – connection with You and others – is also what I need the most. I am realizing that I do not need _____________ (your protective personality) anymore. Lord Jesus, I will trust You with protecting me from _______________. I invite You, Lord Jesus, to come and minister to me now. Please show me how You will do this. In Your loving name I pray, Lord Jesus. Amen.
ENDNOTES:
1. Adapted from Michael Dye, The Genesis Process: For Change Groups Book 1 and 2 Individual Workbook 4th Edition (Double Eagle Industries, 2012), pp. 109-110.
2. Ibid.
3. Ibid., pg. 115.