Biblical masculinity acknowledges vulnerability

“Let, I pray, Your merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to Your word to Your servant.” Psalm 119:76

God is teaching me a lot about being vulnerable before Him. Biblical masculinity does not deny vulnerability, but embraces it from a position of security and strength.

When the Psalmist asks the Lord to let His “merciful kindness be for” his “comfort,” he is being vulnerable before God (119:76). He was in need of God’s comfort after being “afflicted” by the Lord (119:75). By asking God for this he is humbly acknowledging his insecurities and pain along with his need to be consoled.

God was so impressed with the Psalmist’s vulnerability before Him that He recorded it in His Word as an example for other men. Rather than deny or cover up our vulnerability with a “tough guy” facade, we are to present our brokenness to the Lord because He is merciful and kind. He does not give us the judgment we deserve (“merciful”) and He is gracious (“kindness”) toward us.

Much of my life I have tried to protect myself by refusing to be vulnerable in the presence of others, especially men, because when I was vulnerable as a child I was taken advantage of and deeply wounded. I believe many Christian men are very guarded because of unresolved hidden wounds from their past.

It takes courage and strength to admit our brokenness and insecurities. The greatest example of masculine vulnerability is found in the Man, Jesus Christ. For example, the night before His crucifixion we are told that Jesus “rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded” (John 13:4-5). Jesus made Himself vulnerable by taking the position of a house slave to wash the dirty feet of His disciples.

Just before Jesus did this, we read, “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God” (John 13:3). Jesus knew that His Father in heaven had given Him a position of absolute authority (“the Father had given all things into His hands”). He knew His origin (“He had come from God”) and His destination (“and was going to God”). He knew who He was and where He was going. From this position of strength and security, we see Jesus taking the role of a lowly vulnerable servant. He was secure in His Father’s love which gave Him the strength to be vulnerable (cf. John 13:3-4; 17:5, 23-24).

Christ’s greatest vulnerability is seen when He was led like a lamb to slaughter when He was crucified (Isaiah 53:7). He subjected Himself to verbal, physical, sexual (publicly stripped down), and spiritual abuse when He suffered and died on the Cross in our place to pay the penalty for our sins (cf. Matthew 27:11-50; I Peter 2:21-24). He became vulnerable and defenseless as our Substitute. Peter tells us He was able to do this because He “committed Himself to Him who judges righteously” (I Peter 2:23b). Christ trusted His Father to deal righteously with His persecutors.

After His resurrection Jesus made Himself vulnerable when He asked Peter three times, “Do you love Me?” (John 20:15-17). This is a question we do not hear John Wayne or Charles Bronson asking someone. But the perfect Son of God, God Himself, asked this vulnerable question of one of His close followers.

Real men are called to be vulnerable before the Lord. They are to invite Him into the dark places of their soul where they are afraid, ashamed, and broken. Knowing Jesus’ outrageous love for them gives them the courage to let down their guard and let Him in to heal them. And when they do, they may hear Him say, “I have been waiting for you to let Me into this part of your heart. I love you and I am proud of you for taking this step. Let’s walk through this together.”

Prayer: Precious Lord, You know how insecure and vulnerable I often feel inside. I want to give You permission to walk with me through the areas of my heart where I have been deeply wounded and broken. I want to tell You my story so You can bring healing to the depths of my soul. Thank You in advance for being merciful and kind to me. Help me to trust You to lead me through this healing process. I know in my head that You love me outrageously. May Your Holy Spirit enable me to know this experientially in the depths of my soul. In Jesus’ name. Amen.